Do you find yourself getting easily frustrated these days?

Do you know why?

A lot is going on in the world.

A lot of newness is happening since your divorce.

Your expectations are not being met.

Things may be breaking down around you.

Frustration happens for me when I am impeded on a goal

or when I have certain expectations that aren’t being met.

When I get frustrated I also get easily irritated.

I get snippy.

Feelings are easiest to recognize in your body.

Because your brain will minimize and rationalize.

How does your body let you know you’re frustrated?

Mine has the pushing perseverative quality

that I can feel in my chest.

My brain spins with thoughts that circulate over and over

on how to solve the problem or reach the goal.

My brain is relentless in pursuit of trying to fix the issue.

I also have some crunchy energy

in my upper stomach and tightness around my eyes.

These feelings in my body are very specific to frustration.

Your feelings will be specific to you.

Your body has great clues to let you know what’s going on within you.

This is important…… because

Rather than being a victim to the emotion you

can recognize what is happening and make choices.

Your feelings have a need that comes attached to them.

Frustration gets resolved when you figure out

how to reach that goal, solve that problem

or meet that expectation.

It usually doesn’t get solved with a hug.

If you get frustrated with an individual

you’re usually bothered by the fact that they are not doing

what you think they should be doing.

You have an unmet expectation.

People get to do what they want,

you either manipulate them to do to what you want

or you change your expectations.

Every emotion has a need driving it.

Your body has a more accurate

reading of what’s going on inside you.

When you can observe the emotion and label it

then it’s easier to calm them down, or

get their needs met.

Frustration doesn’t feel good

it can lead to stronger emotions….. like anger.

I rarely get frustrated with people for very long.

I recognize the emotions in my body

then my thoughts will step up and help

to minimize the energy of my unmet expectations.

People get to do what they want.

I just get to decide if I want to stick around.

I still get very frustrated.

My frustration is very specific.

I get the most frustrated

when I can’t solve a problem immediately.

If something breaks around my home or my car;

If it’s something I can’t fix or solve right away

it becomes unfinished energy.

That lurks.

Consumes my thoughts and time.

I’m impatient, I want it fixed now.

The goal is to solve the problem so it goes away.

So I feel safe.

That can’t always happen right away.

So I sit in frustration and get snippy.

So what do you do?

How do you help yourself?

Recognize the feelings in your body,

label the emotion and

then use the prefrontal part of your brain

to come up with a solution.

I use logic.

I use mantras.

“Everything is ok you’ll find a solution”.

“It’ll work out”.

This is much easier than sitting in frustration.

You got this…

 

If you have a question, send me an email:

debbie@debbiegoin.com

Or schedule a free 20 minute  call

https://mysite.acuityscheduling.com

 

For some tips about surviving the first year of divorce

Check these out…

Yes I Want 9 Secrets !!